Well... it still hasn't sunk in that 2011 has past me by.

All the sad things, the obstacles... Good things and bad. Both.
What can i do this year, to not just fulfill my life, but also... make me happy.

I really have no idea.
What i thought would make me happy, in turn, it made me so miserable, that i was starting to be repulsed by the feeling of it. By the single thing that i once thought meant the world to me.
I am to blame though. Either way, i'm untenable.

I tell my friends, that in order to keep yourself happy, don't give a fuck.
But yet deep down, i am oversensitive, have no more self-confidence, constantly seeking the wrong audience for approval; simply put, giving too much fuck.

What else? What else could i seek in life, that could truly make me happy?
Marriage? Having Kids? Traveling around the world? Music? Driving a Porsche? Eating? Smoking? Drinking?

What if i'm actually a fucking cynic who already finds myself tired of what life can offer?
Only time will tell... I'm fucking bushed.